People change as they grow up. some turn into the better, but some may not.

I realized that i've completely changed. Me in junior high school was someone that always makes fun of herself to make people around her laugh and be happy, sometimes she even doesn't care about her feelings.

And weirdly, me in senior high school, is the complete opposite. i became very sensitive, shy (well- not so much, face it la), a crybaby, and now i prefer to be alone and watch all things happen quietly. sometimes i wonder what i've gotten myself into.

Then i realized-- i'm uncomfortable right now. i feel very out of place, i have so many people who maybe care about me, but i feel... lonely? i think. everyone have their own bffs. i feel so awkward and really not comfy at all.

Hari ini gue ke SMP. And i know it sounds very weird and creepy and the same time, but- i got my smile back. i was literally can't stop smiling on the way there. Ngeliat hal-hal yang biasa gue liat beberapa bulan lalu; gue kangen banget. gue kangen temen-temen, gue kangen kantin smp (ok not weird at all yar), gue kangen guru guru, gue kangen semuanya.

Gue ngga salah kan kalo gue ngerasa gue belum bisa adaptasi ke rutinitas yang baru?

Kadang gue suka salah make baju olahraga- malah pake baju bansal. setelah pake baru inget kalo sekarang bajunya udah ganti jadi warna biru.
gue masih suka salah ngasih tau ojek. "Kemana neng?" "ke bansal du-- eh ke sma 6."
dan lainnya.

I KNOW IT SOUNDS DRAMATIC BUT i always feel like my body is in high school but my mind is still wandering in junior hs.

btw curhat aja ah sekarang.
tadi gue ke smp, ke kelas gue. gue kangen banget. gue gatau karena pengaruh pms atau apa, tapi tadi gue ngerasa rada... sedih. kangen aja gitu, kangen duluuu..............................
gue liat liat meja, masih ada tulisan gue di meja pake spidol item dengan tulisan korea yang isinya buat doi... wkwk dasar.
wangi smp gue tuh, udah lama gak gue hirup tetep familiar. sama. antara wangi ac-cat-tanah.
ga penting.

mpe jumpah.