Admiration—I Really Hope I Don't Like You

I have been thinking about you. I wondered if you liked it when it rains because you’ll have more excuse to drink more coffee. I wondered if you liked poetry or ever written one. I wish I could have you read mine. I wish you’d know that I wrote about you and find that flattering, but a part of me thinks that you will probably get weirded out, so I made everything subtle. I was never good at profession, anyway.

Because I get nervous and I stop making sense when your eyes look at me.

And then I look back at you, and my eyes give it all away.
There’s nothing for you to question, you’ll always see the answer clearly.

So I’m trying not to like you

because I’m trying to be ‘cool’ so it doesn’t hurt when I miss you.
But you’re making it so hard for me

to act like you don’t matter,
to act like I don’t want more,
to act like I don’t want you.

So I’m trying to be like those girls, trying to be still when you’re next to me,
pretend like you’re just a friend, because that’s how you stay.

-thoughtcatalog